Inspired by 20 degrees

The wretchedness of winter has finally hit here in Misery (I mean, Missouri). They are calling for just an inch of snow here , and the temperatures are hitting the 20s. If it's going to snow here, it should snow hard instead of teasing us with mere inches. The cold makes me an unhappy camper, even in my heated house. I'm thinking it's about time to plan a vacation to get out of this mess. As I thought about the vacation-planning process, I decided it would be nice to share it with readers. So, here it is: How to plan a vacation on a Missouri teacher's salary.

First of all, you need to do some research. Go to your local library and look in the travel section. Check out some books about Australia, New Zealand, the Bahamas, Hawaii, and Greece. Be sure to peek through the Travel and Leisure magazines as well, as they often provide abundant information and inspiration for travelers.

Second, you should jump on the internet to look at fabulous pictures of the worlds beyond Missouri. You might want to place a cup under your chin to catch a bit of the drool that will inevitably drip from your mouth as you look at pictures of The Maldives, The Big Island of Hawaii, Costa Rica, or the Bahamas.

Third, pick the prettiest place with numerous options for adventure. I highly recommend Hawaii, and I believe I would recommend most of the other above-mentioned places as well, but I've never been to them.

Once you have picked the place, figure out how much it will cost. You will need to visit Travelocity.com to plug in your travel destinations in the appropriate blanks. After plugging in your information, the site computes costs for airfare and hotel accommodations. Then you will probably see a very large number with a dollar sign in front of it. This is the amount of money you will owe.

Now it's time to check your paycheck. Take a close look at the number behind the dollar sign, and compare it to the number on that Travelocity Web site. If the number on your paycheck begins with a one and has three numbers after it, you probably shouldn't get your hopes up. And if you're a teacher, you probably noticed that the number isn't very big. It doesn't look too promising, does it? If your paycheck amount is less than the Travelocity amount, you should go ahead and pack your bags...

Then get a Branson brochure, cause you sure as heck can't afford to leave the country.